Cemetery
by CertifiedShipper
Summary: Sam finds cemeteries peaceful, so she goes there to think.
1. Chapter 1

**I always feel peaceful in a cemetery. There isn't one close to me, but when I dogsit that's where we like to walk.**

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Sam shivered and tightened her coat around her. It was the middle of winter and white flakes of snow fell gently, collecting in her hair.

The cemetery was still and quiet, as always. She walked in slowly, taking in the sights. It wasn't unfamiliar, and she wasn't worried or scared. She didn't see why people would say that cemeteries were creepy; she just found them calming, and a good place to think.

As she walked, she looked at all the headstones, reading a few and just glancing at others. She usually didn't see many people, but if she did, she would continue on quietly. She didn't like to admit it, but seeing them cry broke her heart. She didn't have anyone to cry for. She refused to cry for her dad, her didn't want her. He wasn't even dead.

Today was the day Sam found something shocking in the cemetery.

She was almost at the furthest point, she usually didn't get this far as the cemetery was very big and she usually didn't have time to get through before having to go meet with Carly. Today, though, Carly was in Yakima and Freddie had something 'important' to do.

Sam ridiculed him, asking if his 'important thing' was buying new antibacterial underwear or having a tick bath, but he just ignored her.

She walked on as a young man dressed in dark clothing stood with his head down in front of a headstone. She couldn't see his face, but when she walked behind him a caught a glimpse of the words engraved into the smooth stone, she knew who it was.

_Leonard C Benson  
Beloved Father, Brother and Son  
17/6/1967 – 29/3/2000_

Instantaneously Sam felt a pang of guilt from mocking him earlier about his important plans. She hadn't realized he visited his dad. She didn't even realize that he could be so torn up, considering she had almost forgotten how much it hurts to lose someone in an instant.

She always felt bad for the people she saw, but she could never relate to them. Seeing Freddie before her, she knew she needed to talk to him. So she stood and waited.

Freddie, sensing a presence behind him, turned. He was surprised to see Sam, and quickly swiped the tears from his face.

"What, did you come here to make fun of me? 'Oh look, Freddie's being such a baby'!" He took a breath, and Sam could hear the emotion in his voice. "Well if you're here to be rude, save it. I don't want to hear your comments." He spat, sounding bitter.

Sam, not sure how to respond, walked up and put her arms around him. His hands were in his pockets and he didn't remove them as Sam hugged his stiff frame.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Sam whispered into Freddie's shoulder.

"How did you get here?" Freddie asked, nearly no emotion in his voice.

"I come here to think" Sam breathed, pulling back. "I swear I didn't know you would be here, or I would have left you alone."

Freddie stood for a second, looking over her head in an effort not to make eye contact. His eyes were red, and he sniffled a little bit.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Freddie thought for a second, and shook his head no. Sam took a chance and hugged him again. After a moment, his arms slid around her waist and he pulled her small frame into his slightly larger one. His body racked with quiet sobs, and Sam's eyes watered at the feeling. Freddie was crying into her shoulder, and she was rubbing his back.

"You don't deserve this" she said softly. He didn't hear her, but she was fine with that. They were the only two in the cemetery and it still seemed slightly peaceful as the snow drifted down.

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**It's not over, I'm going to add one or two more chapters. Review! xx  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Gonna try to spin out the last chapter today xx**

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Sam, now twenty-four, walked through the arch into the cemetery once again. She really needed to think. She walked alone for an hour before finally coming to a stop. She sat down in front of the headstone. She thought back to exactly what had happened in her life that led her here as she leaned back onto a tree. She thought about when she and Freddie planted the tree. She then thought about Freddie.

She remembered when they brought it here, him running with the large tree and her eagerly dragging the shovel behind her. They planted it and then spent all day laying there. He had brought a blanket so they spread it out and sat with the tree and the headstone until dark, talking and laughing and playing cards. Then they left.

She remembered the day she knew exactly where to go after Carly called her at two in the morning and said that Freddie had a fight with his mother and left upset. This time it was she who brought a blanket and put it around his shoulders. He told her all about how his dad told him he always needed to treat his mother with respect, and take care of her when he was gone.

She remembered how they came here with a bottle of whiskey she snagged from her mother's liquor stash, and how they drank little bits at a time and talked until the bottle was nearly gone. It was a respectful kind of intoxication-Freddie would have it no other way, and honestly, neither would Sam. They talked quietly, speaking only truth until Freddie said he needed to tell her something. Instead of whispering it in her ear, like he was going to, he turned her face and kissed her.

They were just 'hanging out with his dad'. They were just spending time together in a field of headstones and broken hearts. They were just falling in love in a cemetery. Now she needed to step back and think about what she was doing.

She placed a hand on the stone, which was cold from being exposed to the October air. She kept her hand there, her palm and all of her fingers spread out on the smooth rock and ignoring the chill that was seeping into her bones. She took a deep breath.

"So, uh… hey there. I really needed to think, but I'm also going to talk. I've been really busy lately, but I need to be alone once in a while, you know?" She drew in another breath, but her voice shook as she continued "And I'm not saying I have any doubts, I'm totally ready. But sometimes…" "She twisted a ring on her finger "I just don't feel good enough for him, you know? He deserves someone great. Somebody compassionate, and sweet, and quiet, and beautiful… I just can't be all those things. I do love him, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. But is that really enough?" Sam put her head back and closed her eyes.

She thought about when Marissa asked her to save herself for marriage, and she said she would. She remembered when he popped the question, and she remembered them looking for apartments in the city. She thought about what he said, 'Nothing's too good for you'. She twisted her fingers and furrowed her eyebrows.

She glanced at the headstone and remembered the first time she told him she loved him, when they got into their first big fight, and when he left for University. The times he promised he would love her until he ended up here, because he knew she was scared. She smiled, sighed and began to speak.

"Mr. Benson… I'm going to marry your son."

She patted the headstone, put her forehead on the cold rock for a second, her and Freddie's way of showing their respects to him, and walked away. Once she was in her car, she looked in the rear view mirror and saw her pure white dress. Smiling, she drove away.

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**Thank you to the reviewer from last chapter who reminded me that Freddie's father's name is supposed to be Leonard. I did know this, but wrote it without thinking... sort of. I have changed it!**


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